she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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