redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
