Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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