She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Randomize
