I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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