You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Randomize
