smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
I hate all girls vehemently.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Couch. On fire.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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