Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
I will one day have loud vengeance sex as my revenge against you. Until then I'm just going to sit in the living room playing John Mayer while you're trying to do it.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
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