Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Randomize
