What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Randomize
