I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
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