Apparently when he woke up I was tripping my face off. Everytime the cat meowed I would meow back. This went on for several hours.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Speaking of which.. there's underwear in my backseat and Arby's cheese sauce on my door handle. So much for my new Volvo bringing out my classy side.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
Randomize
