whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
so just incase you wake up on the couch wondering how you got there--you came home at 7am, put ice in a cup--then you proceeded to put the cup in the microwave and melt it because you "wanted water". you then, fell down the stairs while saying "you don't know me" then crawled to the couch.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
