i swear to god, this restaurant is playing a john tesh cover of a song from aladdin
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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