how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Randomize
