Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
The best revenge is premature balding
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
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