Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
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