after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
Randomize
