so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
Randomize
