She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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