with your own penis?
I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
When did angry sex become our thing?
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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