I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
just because he was passed out beside the toilet, didn't give you tge right to pee on him
my aim is off when im drunk
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
Randomize
