I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Randomize
