it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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