so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
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