you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
