You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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