No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
Memo to the bitch sitting across from me at Swamp: no one thinks you're classy with your Louis Vuitton and your Burberry scarf when you're dragging on that cig like it was the last cock on earth and you needed cum for sustenance.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
No...this little piggys going to the bar
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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