Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
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