But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
