Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I think we need to stage a munchie intervention for Ben. I just watched him use a tortilla as a potholder to dump water out of his ramen.
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
