LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
My financial advisor pointed out that 37% of my income is currently going towards "non-essential food items"
That's banker lingo for "you're an alcoholic"
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
Randomize
