i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I can wear a rubber suit at three am and spank someone's ass until its sore and fuck them three ways from Sunday. And get up the next day and do their laundry. As long as once in awhile they rub my back without expecting anything
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Just for future reference. Do not do zumba while stoned out of your mind.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
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