soooo we both peed the bed last night...
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
i believe in u and ur pee
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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