so explain again why im purple
no
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
