Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
Good news, my sex bruises are fading. Bad news, my boobs look like I have a skin disease because of it.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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