She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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