i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
dude i'm inner monologue high
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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