I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
