just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
Day 10 and still no sign of rescue in my pants.
At what point in a new hookup do you tell the guy you need to wear a mouth guard when you sleepover because of your TMJ? Asking for a friend.
Randomize
