I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
Randomize
