no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
Mom and I shoplifted today. Her idea.
Retirement sounds fun.
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
Randomize
