its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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