Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
she refused to get out of the dog cage till we sang "be our guest" to her.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
Hold on... Are we having an intellectual conversation about porn?
Yup
I love us.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Drunk him got in a fight with his wife he literally bought a plane ticket and flew to Hawaii. He just called me and asked why I let it happen. From Hawaii hahaha.
I wear drunk well.
you said it was a life or death situation, being your partner for beer pong doesn't count
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
