I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
Dude I got in an Uber this morning and he goes “I drove you last night”\n“You got your dick sucked in the back seat”
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
