Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Terrible idea I love it
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
