I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
the highlight of my day was when my dad called me when I was watching porn and I muted it instead of pausing it.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
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