Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
We got so high we made milksteak
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I need a beard to bite.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
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