Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
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