Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
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