I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
I just had sex on a roof
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
Randomize
