Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
Haha i really think theres no better way to tell a paramedic sorry for breaking your nose than a beautiful and healthy edible arrangement...
Remind me to never do anything where hiding something in my butt is the best course of action
2020 sucks, I want a refund
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
Randomize
