Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
