Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
I faked an abortion last night.
Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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