Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
If you really hate him do what I do: give him an amazing night of unforgettable sex then dump him. You’ll ruin sex for him because new girls won’t compare
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