I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
I paused mid sex to tell him I wished I'd taken up barrel racing so I could ride better.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize