She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Well I'm in the bathtub smoking a bowl and eating doritos and frosting so I might not be the one to advise you on this shit but I'll try.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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