I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
dude your girlfriend is running naked down the hall with a raw chicken taped to her stomach saying this is what I'll look like pregnant...run far far away
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I'm happily sitting on the toilet cause I'm too tired to move. I'm considering making this my permanent residence. It has a lot to offer.
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
