We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you have to choose: penises or morals?
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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