are you still at the devil's house?
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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