This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Sunburnt clitoris. How do I deal with it.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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