dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I was talking about you wanting my dick, but that works too
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
