Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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