i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
